Understanding Your School-Age Child: Confidence, Competence, and Coping in Medical Settings
The school-age years (ages 5–11) bring tremendous growth in thinking, independence, and social connection. Children in this stage are developing skills, confidence, and a strong sense of identity through learning, friendships, and accomplishments.
When illness or hospitalization interrupts their routines, school-age children may struggle with loss of control, separation from peers, or fears about their bodies. Understanding their developmental stage helps parents and caregivers support resilience and healthy coping.
What School-Age Children Need for Healthy Development
At home, school-age children benefit from:
- Opportunities to learn and master new skills
- Meaningful responsibilities at home or school
- Support and praise for effort and progress
- Consistent routines that balance structure with independence
- Active social connection with peers
- Open, age-appropriate communication
- Privacy and respect for their growing sense of identity
When illness or hospitalization occurs, many of these needs — especially independence, peer connection, and mastery — are challenged.
Play
School-age children build confidence through mastery—solving problems, learning new skills, and understanding rules. Their play includes board games, building sets, sports-related activities, crafts, reading, and early science or STEM exploration. Play supports logical thinking, independence, social skills, and coping.
Supporting School-Age play in a medical environment:
Even when mobility or energy is limited, school-age kids can stay engaged and empowered…
- Provide choices that build independence. Let them pick games, crafts, or daily activities to give them a sense of control in an unfamiliar environment.
Use skill-building activities. Puzzle books, Lego sets, guided crafts, simple experiments, or card games can help them stay mentally active.
Encourage connection with peers and family. Virtual playdates, shared reading, or cooperative games help them feel less isolated. - Turn learning into fun. Ask them to teach you a game, help “plan” part of the day, or create challenges like timed puzzles or trivia questions.
Developmental Roadblocks in Medical Settings
- Difficulty in attachment: Separation from parents or inconsistent caregivers can impair trust.
- Disruption of routine: Feeding, sleep, and play schedules may be interrupted.
- Perception of discomfort and pain: Infants cannot verbalize pain, making comfort critical. Painful or invasive procedures can create fear and mistrust.
- Limited sensory and motor stimulation: Reduced opportunities for exploration can impact development.
- Inconsistent caregivers: Multiple providers can be confusing and stressful for infants.
How Parents Can Help Their Infant Cope
Provide Consistent Caregivers
Whenever possible, have the same caregivers provide daily routines
Maintain Daily Routines
Follow feeding, sleep, and play schedules as closely as possible to preserve a sense of predictability.
Minimize Intrusive Procedures in the Crib
Perform invasive procedures in appropriate areas, and reduce multiple providers performing care simultaneously to limit stress.
Communicate with Soothing Voices
Infants respond to tone and rhythm. Calm, low-pitched voices can reduce anxiety and promote comfort.
Encourage Parental Involvement
Whenever something stressful or painful is happening, having parent being the main person in the infant’s line of sight.
Creative Parental Involvement
The hospital environment, or a medical need can sometimes hinder the ability for an infant to be moved from their bed.
If you are unable to hold your infant here are some tips to mimicking parent presence and soothing:
- Use an infant massager under the mattress (if safe) to stimulate rhythmic movement similar to rocking or patting.
- Take a piece of cloth or fabric and wear it and then leave with your infant so it smells like you.
Access our resource library for education and tools to support a parent or caregiver guiding a school-age child through specific aspects of a medical journey:
